The Beautiful Dance – The Job Interview

With all the research being pushed out by marketing and PR teams, one could conclude that the interview is the proverbial crawl that we’ve evolved from as we walk through career growth. On the contrary, the quantity of research is evidence to the fact that we are still crawling.

How can it be in an era of Google Glass and Apple iWatches that interviewers and recruiters screw-up this critical piece of organizational development, and job seekers suffer kludgy interviews while getting moved through the hiring process?

More prevalent than computer programs, more resistant than open APIs, and with as much variance as bars of soap in the market, the interview still stands as one of the greatest performances adults on both sides of the desk will endure in their careers.

Sweaty palms, dry throat, rambling stories, 6 hours of multiple interviewers who behave as though they are crime fighters on a cable network channel, the interview is challenging, and therefore, potentially rewarding, but it also stands in the way of “perceived” career improvement.

I suggest a few strategies to lessen the load for the candidate; on the other hand, the interviewer, unless s/he’s the hiring manager or a seasoned recruiter, is equal in value to someone who provides a restaurant review on Yelp. But a pinch of preparation alleviates a mass of anxiety and creates high performance.

So when faced with an interview that may create meaningful value, I recommend a Taoist strategy:

1.       Get one’s physiology aligned;

2.       Sort one’s talk tracks;

3.       Use a one-two dialog style;

4.       Decide if you would give the person you are speaking to access to your bank account.

Pretty simple, but done with a sense of loss, with the slight feeling of defeat, and from a position of surrender, and the interview becomes a beautiful dance where both parties are engaged, as if in a ballroom dance: slight movements of strength uplift the other unnoticeably, creating a symbiotic relationship of sheer beauty.

Realistically, you likely won’t take the job. Who would want their dance partner, their sparring partner, or their potential boss touching their bank account? But performed sincerely, you’ll have tacit agreement, and if you ask, it will be offered, if an offer has not yet been extended by the end of the performance.

The four steps build on one another, and like the soil that feeds the roots of a tree, on up to the massive crowd of leaves, there’s a certain amount of humility involved where each step builds from the previous, and yet they lean back and work together.

The first, physiology, is so simple: breathe. Set the shoulders back, straighten the torso, open and relax the eyes, and you’re in business. I do this all day long like an athlete, as for some reason, entropy seems to pull me downward into a lump. But lift yourself up and rehearse hourly. Besides, it feels good.

Step two: have some sense of speech that relates to how you got here. Interviewers don’t ask: what’s your favorite tree? Where’s your favorite library? If you’re asked these questions, just say No. I don’t respond to stupid questions. And leave.

But have a picturesque idea of where you worked and why. Classic Ws to your story: who what where when and why. You keep this straight and your physiology stays intact, and your story improves, as do the ensuing steps. If you have some fears around your story it may be best to come clean, unless you hurt one of your previous managers at the company softball game.

It is critical to point out here the need to rectify any areas of your story where you tend to go rogue. Stay away from heart-filled job experiences of triumph; same too with dramatic defeat, even though you may appear heroic. No one cares except the ladies at your bridge club. Not to positive or negative as you don’t want to tip the canoe. Straight-forward, as though you were born with a blue print of your life in hand, and every change was strategically designed with graceful forethought.

Step three takes the form of placing a nice question at the end of your reply in step 2. Because a good answer deserves a good question, and works as a statement of gratitude and an acknowledgement of presence. For example: “Why did you leave the Top 100 Company to Work for in Dubuque?” You give your two sentence answer, then add: “What might you have done in that situation?” Ultimately, this structure gets the spotlight off a recital of your resume, it opens and loosens up the conversation, and it turns the interview into a shoulder-to-shoulder project that the two of you are working on together.

Not to mention, it softens your physiology and opens you up to your talk tracks, thereby reducing the mental digging and strain an interview generally causes (caused by reciting one’s resume and the growing awareness that this job will be as monotonous and boring as the current one.)

It also keeps you answering step 4 – do I want this person to have access to my money? And my family. And my golf game? All of these will be impacted by the person you are facing. They will be intimately involved with many things on and off the field. You may frequent the company happy hour, conceive a child as a result, and be held ransom for a private education because of the person opposite you.

This is key, as it is likely you ought to walk away from most interviews with a thank you, beat it, attitude. You are too good for most jobs, except the job you’re in. Your current dance partner may have caused a rut, a fuss, and you’ve hit a wall. So you go looking. But look hard at your interviewer and your new manager. Notice the phony posture, the lack of grace and experience, the clumsiness – is this person really going to get you to that magical place of Meaningful Work?

The beautiful dance is easy to be good at with a few minutes of rehearsal on a daily basis before jumping out of bed. A few deep breaths and physical openness, some kind words in the mirror, acceptance that it’s just a conversation, and an engaging dialog by being inconclusive and asking questions. All these lead to an ability to ask over and over – is this the one?

Then, before leaving, ask for the referral. Because truthfully, now that the job has been offered, you out-danced the interviewer and might as well reach for the next rung, albeit, the stars.